» Saturday, 29 September A.D. 2007
followup on children
I know at least two people are reading my blog, because two people wrote responses (number one, number two) to my recent post on including children in worship. Well, three, I suppose--my wife reads my blog and nearly always finds spelling mistakes after I have posted. These responses were generally positive and the comments on them as well. Lest you think that we as a family and we as a church have everything worked out, I'd like to explain a bit more about how each of those plays out on Sunday morning.
First, our church does have children's church for ages four through eight, held during the offering/sermon; the children usually come back in for communion. (EDIT: my wife reminds me that this recently changed; the children no longer come back for communion, which is unfortunate, but that's the way it is.) Every Sunday, however, it is made clear during the announcements that it is OK for your children to stay with you during this time if you so choose--and a fair number of children do. And, as I understand it, children's church is focused on preparing the children to enter worship as full participants. They have liturgy, a little story of their own, etc. So it's not just time for the children to run around and play.
Second, it's not as if our family sits in our pew like good “frozen chosen” during the sermon, all at attention. What usually happens depends on the day, the phase of the moon, and various bodily processes. Sometimes Tricia needs to go feed Ally/change Ally's diaper in a back room and she does not usually come back from this until communion time or shortly before. Sometimes Becca will go with Tricia because Becca needs a diaper change or because Becca just wants to go. So Becca is not always present during the sermon. Sometimes Ally will sleep, giving Tricia the luxury of staying and hearing the whole sermon. Sometimes Becca will quietly sit and eat her snack; other times she may be too ansy and I will take her to the back of the sanctuary--where there is a large area to walk around--and we will walk or color with crayons. There are interruptions and disruptions, but at least we know that having our children present through the entire service is not looked down upon...and there are often several parents in the back with their children as well. I'm sure any parent with children understood that all does not go according to plan every morning, but it never hurts to make things clear.
My wife also reminds me that she can hear the sermon being piped into the back room and that we are moving towards having Becca sit with us for the entire sermon as the norm, rather than the exception. Last week probably would have been the first week we would have acheived that, but there was an unfortunate mishap resulting in the Cheerios, raisins, and chocolate chips of Becca's snack being dispersed onto the floor. We are a work in progress.
Third, our community group listings clearly spell out whether childcare will be available or not. I don't know the exact method by which childcare takes place, as the community group we attended last year didn't have it and we just kept Becca with us the whole time. Again, this situation was not always perfect: sometimes I needed to walk around with Becca outside, we had to keep her from going after the dog, etc. etc. But our fellow members were OK with Becca being there; they would often play with her a little bit while talking, find places for her to sit and/or climb up, they would be mindful of the small objects she would find, etc. etc.. I assume other groups that do not provide childcare would follow the same pattern, but maybe not.
Fourth, the booklet from which the quote in my previous post came also suggested having separate times during a community group where children can do their own thing while the adults talk. If I may be permitted to be inconsistent for a moment, I think this makes perfect sense. Worship is a time for the gathering of God's people--which includes children. Community groups are a time to gather for mutual support and encouragement--some parts of which may not be appropriate for children and/or the children may not be mature enough to (for lack of a better word) blab about and/or receive with respect. Some people may not feel comfortable sharing certain struggles with children in the room. I think this is entirely appropriate. Note, however, that this does not mean the children should be sequestered from the adults entirely--there should be times of gathering and times of separation as necessary.
So there's a bit of background about our own situation.
posted by Nate @ 2:51PM